The Insomniac Feminist

If you’re looking for new makeup, I suggest going to the Sephora at JC Penney’s at Tempe Marketplace. The lady who helped me, Nevena, was super nice and spent a lot of time with me (and this is when I came in with no makeup on and looked gross because I was also breaking out a lot). She helped me find an acne skincare system called Murad, and I can already see a difference :) She also found a makeup that wasn’t oily and even helps fight or prevent breakouts called Lorac. And she tried a combo of different shades of eyeshadow in an Urban Decay palette on me (it’s my fave eye shadow brand right now). Basically she made me feel great, and I spent a lot of money like she intended haha.

How obsessed with your weight and fat do you have to be to get lipo twice? The last paragraph reeks of how unhappy this woman is with her body and the chore it is to diet and exercise consistently the rest of her life. It’s good to be healthy, but this woman is more concerned with perfection and being thin, not feeling good as a result of being healthy. This is obvious when she starts talking about sizes.

This writer answers the question perfectly - it really doesn’t matter. Wait how long you want, it doesn’t make you a better or worse person. I still have it in the back of my mind to wait at least a couple dates, but if you have instant chemistry what’s the point in putting it off? It’s probably best to know more about the guy, but it should be considered on an individual basis. For example, if you’ve been messaging a guy for a month or so and finally go out with him, what’s the harm in getting physical right away if you want to? The worst thing that could happen is the guy could use sex as an excuse not to have a longer-term relationship with you, but the real reason he didn’t want to commit is not because you decided to have sex with him sooner than later (at least in most cases). What are your thoughts?

I feel like this list could be shortened somehow. I usually only refer to relationships as dating, FWB or fuck buddies when they’re not a long-term, committed relationship. I don’t think people need to know more than that, like if it’s an ex you’re having sex with (I mean, it’s still a FWB or fuck buddy situation). Or you could just say “it’s complicated” and it encompasses all 9 of those pre-exclusive relationships. Ta-da!

These are examples of how girls and teens are sexualized to the point that men see them as ideal partners when that’s obviously inappropriate. When society starts valuing traits and characteristics of women, like curves and experience (not innocence and purity), then maybe we’ll see a change in predatory men.

bastardfromabasket:

• Anyone talking is asking to be interrupted.
• Anyone carrying money is asking to be robbed.
• Anyone eating is asking to choke.
• Anyone drinking is asking to be drugged.
• Anyone walking is asking to be tripped.
• Anyone with a face is asking to be punched.
• Anyone with a heart is asking for a heart attack.
• Anyone with arteries is asking for an aneurysm.
• Anyone not wearing a breastplate is asking to be stabbed.
• Anyone not wearing a bulletproof vest is asking to be shot.

I think this is a little funny coming from a porn star who is probably required to go bare, but I definitely agree with her!

Nine months? That still seems pretty long to me haha, I can’t seem to stand anyone for more than 1 month.

I find it appalling what a nurse told a woman who was having an abortion because the fetus would die in her anyway b/c of developmental complications:

“You may think your husband, family, or friends can help you now, but the only one who can help you after this is God.”

As the drugs took effect and my breathing slowed, she bent over and whispered, “So you’d better start praying for your soul.”

What a horrible thing to say to a woman right before getting an abortion. Also, the doctor had told her that she should have an abortion for her health and future fertility. Sometimes religion makes people say and do stupid things…I can understand how in general religious people would be opposed to abortions, but when the fetus is dying anyway, why is that anyone’s fault?!

In my advanced human sexuality class, we watched two videos today: Dreamworlds 3: Desire, Sex and Power in Music Video and Hip-Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes. The two videos were very similar, so I’ll just talk about them in general because I forget which one featured what. One video showed how music videos can shape how we think about sexuality and men and women’s roles in the world.

The most disturbing thing was when the filmmaker showed images from the music videos and compared them to two different mass sexual assaults that took place in public areas. The filmmaker emphasized how the men treated women like objects in the music videos, doing whatever they wanted with the women, including pouring alcohol on them and grabbing and slapping body parts. One scene showed a rap artist sliding a credit card in the crack of a woman’s ass. The filmmaker then compared this with the mass sexual assaults that happened. It showed the men pouring different liquids on random women in the crowd and the men sexually assaulting the women.

The difference between the music videos and real life is that in the music videos, the women appeared to enjoy this treatment, and the women shown in the mass sexual assault scene were angry, upset, crying and traumatized. The filmmaker suggested that the men thought this was OK in real life because the women seemed to like it in the music videos.

Obviously, the filmmaker is making a dangerous point, and I think people often overlook what harmful consequences these music videos and music in general can lead to. The music and music videos can’t be blamed for sexual assault, but they’re certainly not helping men and women learn appropriate behavior and respect for each other.

The film also made the point that women appear like nymphomaniacs in many music videos and are always ready for sex and never say “no” to the men. This can create a mixed message for men, since this is not representative of women in real life, only in a “dreamworld.”

The filmmaker showed how some scenes from music videos appeared violent, and then compared them to a rape scene in a movie. He said the scenes were too close for comfort. I sort of disagreed with this, since in most of the music videos there was no explicit violence where women were being raped or assaulted, but again these music videos are promoting treating women like objects who can be used. Also, when the men in the music videos were acting violently toward the women, the women again seemed to enjoy it (at least eventually), which is complete BS. [By the way, the gang rape scene in the movie The Accused was horrible and almost made me cry. Especially the fact that the men were saying things like “See, she likes it!” while she was screaming “no” when her mouth wasn’t covered]

At first glance, this film seems to rationalize violence against women by blaming it on music videos, or even demonize hip hop and popular music in general, but the real message seems to be that we need to be careful what we watch and scrutinize the messages these artists and record labels are trying to send. The filmmaker pointed out that all the record label owners were men at the time of the documentary, and the music videos all focus on apparently men’s fantasies and female bodies (remember, the only purpose of women in these music videos is for men’s pleasure). This is not just entertainment. Could this be contributing to the 1 in 6 American women who are victims of attempted or completed rape? Maybe so.